怒りを長引かせない４つのステップ

最近怒りましたか？　その怒りはどれくらい続きましたか？

「怒ってはいけない」「怒りをコントロールしなければ」

分かっちゃいるけど、そんなの無理！そんな方に、必見。

怒りを長引かせないために知っておくべき４つのステップ

こんにちは、癒しのカウンセラー＆ライフコーチの蒼乃ひろこです。

怒ってしまっても、すぐに忘れてしまう、そんな人はいいですよね。

でも、ずっとその怒りをためてしまう人もいます。私もその一人でした。

怒ってしまうのは仕方ないけど、それをずっと引きずってしまうと、一番つらいのは自分です。相手はなんとも思ってませんからね。

実は感情には２種類あります。建前の感情と本音の感情

怒りは本音と建て前、どちらだと思いますか？

本音ポイですよね。実は建前なんです。

怒りの奥にある本音は、寂しい、不安、心配、つらい、苦しい、、、などの不快な感情。その本音を心の奥に抑え込み、いっぱいいっぱいになった時に、怒りが出てくるのです。

例えば、

一生懸命仕事をした。我ながら、よくやったと思っている　⇒

上司は何も言ってくれない　⇒

認めてくれなくて寂しい。認めてほしい　⇒

そんな時にちょっとしたミスを注意された　⇒

怒り爆発

注意をされたときの本音に、「認めてよ～」という気持ちがあって、そこが満たされなくて怒りという形で出てきたんですね。

今まで自分が怒った時の事をちょっと思い出してみてください。
その怒りはどのくらい続きましたか？

怒りを長引かせないためには、どうすればいいのか？
4つのステップを試してみてください。

STEP１　怒っている、この裏にある本音は何だろう？と自分に訊く

STEP２　寂しい、認めてほしい、などの本音に気付く

STEP３　そんな自分の本音をしっかり聞いてあげる

STEP４　頑張った自分をちゃんと認めてあげて、褒めまくる

他人に認めてもらえなかった感情を、あなた自身がちゃんと聞いて、認めてあげることで、怒りは消えていきます。

怒らなくなってしまえれば、一番いいのかもしれませんが、そこは、「人間だもの」怒っちゃうこともありますよね。 怒ってしまうのは仕方ない、怒りを長引かせて、自分を苦しめるより、怒りをすぐに鎮めるこの４つのステップで、人生軽やかに、楽しく生きましょう

怒りを手放し、心軽やかに、自分らしく生きたい方
自分一人ではどうしていいか分からないという方はご相談ください。

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