「自分を変える」よりも大切なのは〇〇な力

こんにちは、カウンセラーの蒼乃ひろこです。

「自分を変えたい！」
そう思っていませんか？

「もっと人前で上手に話したい」「もっと気にしなくなれたら」
自分を変えたいと思うと、自分はダメな人間だと思い余計に辛くなります。

じゃ、どうすればいいのでしょうか？

自分の性格や気質を変えることはなかなか難しい事です。

でも、簡単にできるようになること、それは

楽しむ力を身につける

楽しむってどういうことでしょう？

人前で話せない自分を楽しむ力
気にしてばかりでうじうじしている自分を笑い飛ばせるようになる力

私も、つい先日、この力が大切だな～と実感しました。

私は、刺激追求型HSPで、「あれもやりたい」「これもやりたい」と好奇心旺盛で、色んなことをやりたくて、行動しようとしますが、いざとなると怖くて足踏みしてしまい、結局できなくて、落ち込むということが、何度も何度もありました。そんな自分が大嫌いで、何とかせねば！と更に何かしようと思い、また落ち込む…

私は、新しい店に入ったりするのも苦手です。なんか怖いんですね。

今でこそ、大丈夫になりましたが、その昔は、服を買いに行っても、店員さんと話すのが怖くて、試着もせずに買って帰ったりしていました。

新しい事もたくさんしたくて、クラスもたくさん取りました。ヨガのクラスに入る時は、怖くて、怖くて。ドアが閉まっていて、中が見えないようになっていたので、どんな雰囲気か、どんな人がいるのか、分からず。

やっとの思いでドアの前まで行っても、そこで立ち尽くして、やっぱり帰る。そんなことを数回繰り返し、ある日、たまたま出てきてくれたヨガの先生に声を掛けられ、やっとのことでクラスを受けられる、、、なんてことがありました。

そして先日、同じような事が！

ある集会に行こうと思い、行きましたが、あまりにも人がたくさんいて、なんとなく気がねして、入れませんでした。

少し落ち込んだ後、あ～、こんなこと前にもあったな、とヨガのクラスのことを思い出し、もう１５年以上も経っているのに、全然私変わってないと思うと、逆に楽しくなってきました。

そして、こんな自分も面白いかな～と思い始めました。

この体験を同じ刺激追求型ＨＳＰの人と話して「あるある～」と共感してもらえたら、楽しいだろうな～と。

この話、今度誰かにして笑ってもらおうって思えると、更に楽しくなってきました。

きっとこんな人たくさんいるんだろうな～っと。

同じ行動でも、「自分はダメ、変えなきゃ！」と思うとつらいです。

「こんなできない私、おもしろいな～」と笑って楽しめると、気が楽です。

今のテレビのお笑いタレントさん、ダメそうな人たくさんいますよね。
それでも、自分の弱みを売りにして、みんなに笑ってもらってます。

その精神です。

「こんな私、誰も好きじゃないだろうな」から

「こんな私もあり、おもしろい」と楽しむ力を身につける

そうすると怖いものなしですね。

「「自分を変える」よりも大切なのは〇〇な力」への 311 件のコメント

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