ビリーフという言葉聞いたことはありますか?
心理学やカウンセリングでは「ビリーフ」という言葉をよく耳にします。
ビリーフとはBelieve(信じる)から来ています。
自分が信じていること、信念、価値観という意味です。
カウンセリングでは、子どもの頃に植え付けられた「間違った信念、不自由な信念」を取り扱います。自分が正しいと思っている「思い込み」です。
このビリーフに気付いてないクライアントさんがたくさんいます。
だから、私がクライアントさんにいうのは「気付いて」です。
ビリーフはどうやって生まれるのでしょう?
育った家庭環境や、教育によって、たくさんの「~しなけらばならない」「~してはいけない」が無意識のうちに、心の中に植え付けられます。
例えば、アダルトチルドレンの相談に来られる方で多いビリーフは
「人に甘えてはいけない」
「思ったことを言ってはいけない」
「楽しんではいけない」
「そのままの自分ではいけない」
この思い込みこそが、今の自分を生き辛くしているんですね。
「~しなけらばならない」「~してはいけない」そんな無意識の気持ちが、本当の自分がやりたいこととは違う言動をしてしまい、本当の自分と、理性を働かせた常識人である大人の自分とのギャップに苦しみます。
このギャップが大きければ多きいほど、生き辛くなります。
ビリーフが多くて、大きくて、深い人は、本当の自分を隠したまま生きて、自分の居場所を見失います。
でも、この間違ったビリーフは当たり前になっていて、気付かないまま生きている人が多いんですね。
カウンセリングに来て、カウンセラーに言われて初めて気付きます。
癒しの旅は「気付き」からです。
気付かないと、何も始まりません。
逆に言うと、気付くことができれば、癒しの一番高いハードルを越えたと言えます。
まず、このビリーフに気付き、そして変えていく。
「しなければならない」から「してもいい」へ。
「自分がしたいことをする」になった時に、人は楽に生きられるようになります。
「ビリーフとは?私がクライアントさんに一番よく言う言葉は〇〇 」への 290 件のコメント
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