【お悩み相談】自分が出せない… その原因は〇〇にあった!

「どこにいても、本心で話すことができずに、相手の顔色ばかりうかがってしまい、相手に気に入られることだけを言っているから、なんだかむなしい。」

自分が出せなくて辛い、そんなお悩みを抱えているクライアントさんはとても多いです。

どうして自分が出せなくなってしまったんでしょうか?

自分が出せない理由はいくつか考えられますが、大きな理由としては

「小さい時に親に自分を受け入れてもらえなかった」ということが考えられます。

小さい時に、親から否定されて育つと、
「自分は間違っている」「自分はおかしい」「自分は良くない子」
というメッセージを何度も何度も聞いたり感じたりすることで、まるでそれが真実だと勘違いしてしまい、心の奥に焼き付きます。

小さい子どもにとって、親は全てですから、親からのメッセージを真実だと思ってしまうんですね。

否定される言葉を直接言われなくても、兄弟と比べられて、自分だけ褒められなかったり、褒められても、頑張った時だけ褒められて、失敗してダメな自分は受け止められないなどの間接的な体験をした場合でも同じです。

いずれにせよ、間違ったメッセージを真実だと勘違いし、大人になってもその傷ついた心が癒されることなく育ち、親の前で「いい子でいたい」「怒られたくない」「愛されたい」と思ったあの気持ちが再現されて、大人になっても、会社やママ友といる時に、自分の本心ではなく、相手に好かれるように振舞ってしまいます。

この傷ついたままの心は、インナーチャイルドと呼ばれています。
インナーチャイルドを抱えたまま大人になった人をアダルトチルドレンと呼びます。

自分が出せない、その原因はアダルトチルドレンだったんですね。

アダルトチルドレンの方は、自分がアダルトチルドレンだと気付いていなかったり、生き辛さの根本がインナーチャイルドとつながっているということに気付いていません。

アダルトチルドレンは生まれてから植え付けられたものなので、癒して改善していくことが可能です。

私のクライアントさんの多くは長い間苦しい思いをしてきた方ばかりです。

もっと早くにカウンセリングを受けておけば、そんな辛い思いをせずにすんだのに、といつも思います。

インナーチャイルドの心の傷の深さは、育った環境によってそれぞれ違いはありますが、自分ではそれが当たり前と思って育っているので、その深さに気付いていない方も多いです。

インナーチャイルドの傷を持ったのは、あなたのせいではありません。
本当の自分で生きられないのは辛いし、もったいないです。

本当にあなたで生きるために、インナーチャイルドを癒してみませんか?

「【お悩み相談】自分が出せない… その原因は〇〇にあった!」への 5 件のコメント

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