内向的は良くない？それ本当？③自分を受け止める

こんにちは、カウンセラーの蒼乃ひろこです。

前回、内向的な人にはたくさん良いところがあるというお話をしました。

それにも関わらず、内向的な人は、「自分が嫌い」「変わりたい」と苦しみます。

そんな苦しんでいる人は、自分を否定し続けています。

「なんで私はこんな性格なんだ」「どうして私は変われないんだ」と…

親に否定され、先生に否定され、メディアでも否定され、会社で否定され、
その上、自分自身までもが自分を否定しているんです。

自分に誰も味方がいないのは、とってもつらくて、さみしいことです。

でも、実は自分を自分で否定しているなんてこと、気付いてないんです。
小さい頃から、それが当たり前だったから。
自分を否定するのが当たり前。

でも、今これを読んでいる方は、気付きましたよね。

「気付く」

これが一番大切な事です。

気付かなければ治せませんからね。

まず、自分を否定している自分に気付く

そして、自分が嫌いという自分を受け止める

自分を好きになろうと思わなくていいです。急に好きになれと言われても、できないですから。

だから自分が思っていること、感じていること、全部そのまま受け止めてあげる。

「あーこんな自分嫌い」→気付く→　「嫌いと思ってるんだね」
「あー変わりたい」→気付く　→「変わりたいと思ってるんだ」「そうだね、変わりたいよね」「辛いもんね」

まるで、小さな駄々っ子の子どもに話しかけるように、決して否定せず、
「そんな風に思ってるんだ」っと全部受け止めてあげて下さい。

つらい、寂しい、悲しい、いやだ、、そんな否定的な気持ちが出てきたら、全部受け止める

辛いね、寂しいね、悲しいね、嫌だね。。。

「寂しいって感じちゃダメ！そんな弱いメンタルじゃダメ！」っと自分の感情を押し殺し、蓋をしてしまうと、あなたの味方が誰もいなくなるんです。

蓋をすることで、強くなれると思い、弱いところを見せたらダメだと思って、蓋をしているつもりが、反対に、どんどん自分を追い詰め、弱くなり、ダメだという気持ちが強くなっていきます。

今、胸に手を当てて、どんな気持ちが出てきたか、感じてみて下さい。

そして、その気持ちを否定せずに「あ～そういう風に感じているんだね」って

受け止めてあげて下さい。

どんな感じがしますか？

あなたがあなたの一番の味方になれた時に、あなたは強くなれます。

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