あがり症の方は試してみて！恥ずかしさを克服する唯一の方法とは？！

恥ずかしさを克服する一番いい方法は何だと思いますか?

それは、自分が一番恥ずかしいと思っているそのことをあえてする！ということです。

こんにちは、スピリチュアルカウンセラーの蒼乃ひろこです。

｛え～！そんなこと絶対無理！」そんな声が聞こえてきそうですね。嫌ですよね、逃げだしたいと思っているのに、あえて恥ずかしいことをするなんて…

でも、もし恥ずかしさをどうしても克服したいと思っているなら、真正面から向き合ってみるというのが一番の近道です。

ただそれにはコツがあるんです！

それは、同じように恥ずかしいと思っている仲間と一緒に取り組んで行くということです。

そして、その人たちとお話をしてみてください。どんな風に感じているのか。。。そうすると色んなことが見えてきます。例えば…

案外、気にしているのは自分だけで、人は何とも思ってなかったりします。

他の人もみんな恥ずかしいと思っていたりします。

すごく恥ずかしいと思っていたことが、実は大したことではなかったりします。

あるお坊さんが、恥ずかしさを克服するには、托鉢をするのがいいと言っていたのを聞いたことがあります。

恥ずかしいことをすると、恥ずかしさに慣れてきて、どうでもよくなって、度胸もつきます。もうこんな恥ずかしいことしたんだから、他のことなんて大したことないと思うんだそうです。

私も恥ずかしがり屋でした。

アメリカに住んでいた時に、とにかく英語を話して、間違えるのがとっても恥ずかしくて、ちょっとしたミスで、その日は頭の中でそのミスがぐるぐるぐるぐる…

みんな私のミスに気付いて、ばかにしているかもしれない、心の中で笑ってる…！嫌だ！恥ずかしい！がたくさんありました。英語のネイティブの人と話すのはすごく苦痛でした。

その当時私は、自分がどうしてもやりたくて取ったクラスで、人前で英語で話さなければならず、いつも苦痛で、どうにかせねばと思っていました。それで、人前で英語を話すスピーチクラブに入ろうと決めました。

めちゃくちゃ嫌でした。何度もあらがいました。

友だちも通っていたので、一緒に行くことにして、何とか行けましたが、初めての時に、質問をいきなりされて２分間それについて答えるということをやらされ、途中で何と言っていいか分からず、

「あ’’~~~~~~~」

と言ってごまかし、みんなに笑われて終わりました。

３回ゲストで行った後、次は正式にメンバーにならないとだめで、４回目は重い足が動かず行けませんでした。

心の隅に敗北感がありました。自分がやると決めたことが出来なかったこと、これからもずっと恥ずかしいを背負って生きて行かなければならないのかと思うと、そんな自分が嫌でした。

そして半年後、やっぱり恥ずかしさを克服したい！とまた入会すると決心しクラブに足を運びます。

そこで起こったことは！

教室のあるビルの中までは入れましたが、そこで足がすくみ、無理だ！やっぱり帰ろうと思い、帰ることにしました。でもメンバーの人がやってくるので、柱の陰に隠れるという、恥ずかしい真似をして、5－10分隠れ続けました。

よし、誰も来なくなったっと思って、帰ろうとしたところに、ちょうど少し遅れてやってきた一番大御所のメンバーの方が来られて、見つかり、教室はこっちだよ、と連れていかれてしまいました。

ついに開き直りました。その日にお金を払わなくてもよかったのですが、「払います」と現金を取り出し参加。お金を払ったからには、何が何でも参加するだろうと思ったので。。。

初めてのみんなの前でのスピーチの時は、緊張でした。たった１５人くらいの前でしたが、６分ほどのスピーチを終えて、席に戻った時は手が大きく震えていて、隣の人に見てと言って見せたのを覚えています。

このクラブに入った人はみんな、あがり症、恥ずかしがり屋、人前で間違うのが怖いと思ってスピーチクラブに入ってきた人たちでした。みんなと話していくうちに、「なんだ、みんな私と同じなんだ！」と気づくことが出来ました。私の良いところをほめてもらい、すごく自信がつきました。誰も私のミスを笑う人なんていませんでした。

それから４年間スピーチクラブに通い続けて、私が学んだことは、

間違っても大丈夫ということでした。

私のミスなんて大したことない、アメリカ人でも英語間違えてるし、アメリカ人でもみんな恥ずかしがってるし。そうして、人前で間違うことをして、恥ずかしいを繰り返していくうちに、間違いへの恐れと恥ずかしさを克服していきました。

最終的には１００人くらいの会場で、司会者として英語でお話ししていました。緊張はありましたが、恥ずかしさはなかったです。

私は話すのが恥ずかしかったから、人前で話しました。
顔を出すのが恥ずかしいなら、顔を出してみる。
何か一番恥ずかしいと思っていることをやってみてください。

実際にやってみると、体験できて、気付けます。
行動して、自分で体験したことは自分の知恵となっていきます。

行動に移すのは大変でも、恥ずかしさを克服した後の自分の姿を思い描いてください。

恥ずかしいのは最初だけ。少し我慢して、あとは幸せの日々。

「でも…やっぱり怖い！」という方。当たり前です。怖いです。

その恐れを少し手放してから、直面するのもありです。

当カウンセリングルームでは、あなたの自己肯定感を上げることから始めます。

カウンセリングを受けて、まずは恐れを手放し、それから実践編で恥ずかしさに直面していきましょう。でも、もしかしたら、そのころには恥ずかしさなんてなくなってるかもしれませんが。。。

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