アダルトチルドレンの生き辛さを抱えている人はたくさんいます。でも、全然タイプの違う二人が、実は同じアダルトチルドレンということもあるんです。
アダルトチルドレンと一言で言っても、6つのタイプに分かれているんです。
今日は簡単に6つのタイプについて説明します。
6つのタイプ
1.ヒーロー (英雄タイプ)
2.スケープゴート(生贄タイプ)
3.ロストワン (いない子タイプ)
4.ケアテイカー (世話役タイプ)
5.ピエロ (道化師タイプ)
6.イネイブラー (支え役タイプ)
1. ヒーロー(英雄タイプ)
勉強やスポーツなど、良い成績や評価をもらうことを第一に考えています。しっかり者や努力家と見られます。
自分のために頑張っているのでなはなく、家族のため、周囲のために頑張っているのが特徴です。
良い成績や評価をもらうことで、周囲の期待に応えられる、そしてそれが家族や周りの人たちの雰囲気を良くするという役目を負っているように感じています。
そのため、挫折や失敗を恐れています。うまくいっている間は良いですが、挫折や失敗した時に心が折れて立ち直れなくなります。
2. スケープゴート(生贄タイプ)
家族の中では、問題児、悪者の役割を引き受けています。
親や家族からは問題児扱いされ、虐げられているので、自己否定感を強く感じているのが特徴です。
自分が問題児になることで、真の問題から目をそらせ、一時的にでも家族が安定し、バランスが取れることを無意識に望んでいます。
3. ロストワン(いない子タイプ)
家族の主張に従い、自分の意見は言わずにずっと黙っている、忘れられた手のかからない子です。
家族で波風を立てず、迷惑をかけずにしようといつも細心の注意を払っています。また干渉から自分を守るために自分の存在感を消しているのが特徴です。
自分の存在を消し、家の中にいても孤独を感じています。
4. ケアテイカー(世話役タイプ)
献身的に家族や周囲の人のお世話をして、愚痴を聞き、支える役目です。
周りの人の役に立ちたいと思っているので、過剰なまでに気を利かせて、お世話をするのが特徴です。
親の役目をしなかった親に代わって、家事をしたり、兄弟の面倒を見たり、自分のことは後回しにしてきました。そうすることによって、家族が崩壊しないように惜しみない努力をしてきたのです。それは自己犠牲的、もっと言うと自虐的ともいえます。
5. ピエロ(道化師タイプ)
いつも明るく振舞い、おどけたりするムードメーカーの役割を果たします。
家族や周囲の雰囲気が悪くなるのが嫌で、明るく振舞っていますが、人に嫌われるのが怖く、明るい振る舞いの裏で、心では泣いているのが特徴です。
過度に周りの空気を読み取り、人の表情を伺い、常にびくびくしています。
6. イネイブラー(支え役タイプ)
家族の機能を保つために、家族を支えなければと願うボランティアワーカーのような存在です。
自己犠牲を惜しまず、とにかく献身的に支えるのが特徴です。
見捨てられることが怖く、嫌われたくない、必要とされないことへの恐怖のために相手のいいなりになってしまい、必要以上に相手を支えすぎてしまいます。そしてその献身的な態度が、周りの人のためになるのではなく、依存を助長し、周りの人をダメな人にしてしまいます。
あなたはどのタイプですか?どのタイプも生き辛さを抱えて生きています。
自分がアダルトチルドレンだと分かったら、それが生き辛さ解消のための大きな第一歩です。
生き辛さを解消するためにはどうすればいいのか、また別のブログでお話したいと思います。
アダルトチルドレンをについて克服したい方、まずは相談してみませんか?
\ 初回お試しカウンセリング /
「アダルトチルドレン 6つのタイプとは?」への 77 件のコメント
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