人と一緒にいる時に、あなたはどちらが大切ですか
相手にどう思われているか?
相手をどう思っているか?
自信のない人、自分軸がない人は相手にどう思われているかをいつも考えています。
あの人私のこと嫌いなんじゃないだろうか?
私、何か変なこと言ったかな?
怒っているんじゃないだろうか?
いつもいつも、相手がどう思っているかを考えて疲れてしまいますよね
ここから抜け出すにはどうすればいいのでしょうか?
2つあります。
1 相手は何も思っていないということを思い出す
2 自分が相手のことをどう思っているかに重点をおく
まずは1番目 相手は何も思っていないということを思い出す。
「あの人は怒っているに違いない」「あの人は私のことを嫌いになっちゃったに違いない」
と思ってしまうのは、あなたの空想で、実際には本当は相手は何も思っていないし、多くの場合はあなたが言ったことや、やったことを伝えて謝ったとしても、「え、何のこと?」「覚えてない」と言われたりします。
今までに、そんな経験ありませんでしたか?
本当に何か言ってしまった時は、心当たりがありますが、心当たりがないのに、いつも相手の顔色をうかがっているのなら、相手は何も思っていないという事をまず、思い出してください。
実は、私もこのパターンにはまっていたことがあります。
特に何もしたわけではないけど、「あ~絶対あの人私のこと嫌いになった」「絶対怒っている」と思って、不安で不安で仕方ない…
でも後で話してみると、そんなこと全然思ってなかったんです。
自分の思考のクセでそう思ってしまうだけだったんです。
この思考のクセ。これが実は根本の原因だったんです。
実際に誰かに何を言ったか、したかではなく、あなたの思考のクセを治していくことで不安はなくなっていきます。
この根本原因は子どもの頃のあなたの家庭環境にあります。小さい頃から身についていた思考のクセがあったんですね。
2番目については次のブログで、お話しますね。
「他人の顔色をうかがってばかりいる人必見!思考のクセに気付いてますか?」への 302 件のコメント
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