HSP、今ではよく聞くこの言葉。
繊細さんなどとよく言われていますが、HSPはHighly Sensitive Person の略で、４つの特徴があります。
特 徴
物事を深く考える
刺激に敏感
共感しやすい
感覚が鋭い
私はHSP という言葉を初めてテレビで聞きました。そして、もしかして私もそうかもっと思って調べたところ、やはり私もHSPと診断されました。
その時、あ～だからかっと納得感と安心感とで満たされました。
自分は変なのかと思っていたけど、こんなHSPというぴったりの症状があり、そして５人に一人もいるのかと驚きもありました。
更にHSPには４つのタイプがあります。
タイプ
刺激を求めない内向型HSP
刺激追求型・内向型HSP
刺激を求めない外向型HSP
刺激追求型・外向型HSP
私はHSS型HSP 刺激追求型の内向型HSPです。
そして、また更に納得と安心。
人見知りで不安がいっぱいあるし、行動力も決断力もないのに、好奇心旺盛で、やりたいことがたくさんあり、やらないと気が済まない。
この矛盾した性格のおかげで、かなり悩みがありました。
好奇心いっぱいで、新しい事に挑戦したくて、クラスもたくさん取りました。
ダンス、絵、スピーチ、お芝居、スペイン語、ヨガ、瞑想、、、
どうしてもクラスに行きたい！でもまず行く前からいくつものハードルが立ちはだかり、決断するまでにへとへと。決断する前に数ヵ月かかったり、大きいことだと何年も前進せずに立ち往生。クラスの前まで行っては、人と話すのが怖くてやっぱりやめようと思って行かなかったことが何度もあります。
何とか「やりたい」が勝って、ハードルを越えてクラスに行けても、クラスの初めは自己紹介でみんなの前で話す、休み時間も人と話す、苦痛な時間…。
旅行もよく一人で行きました。人との出逢いが好きで、旅先で出会って、話が盛り上がって、、、という刺激を求めていましたが、やはり人見知り、思っているようにことは運ばずフラストレーション。
そんな自分が嫌で、どうにか自分を変えたいとずっとずっと長い間、闘ってきたように思います。
闘ってきたおかげで、度胸もつき、たくさんの事を学んできました。でも自分がこの刺激追求型HSPだと知っていたなら、こんな悩まなくてよかったのかなとも思います。
「自分はこんな特性があるんだ」と知って、それに反発せずに、仲良くなっていくのが、人生楽に生きられる秘訣です。
HSPで人見知りだけど、一対一で人と深く話すのは大好きです。
HSPで大勢の前で話すのは得意ではないけど、敏感なので色んなことに気付き、こそっと伝えることが出来ます。その方が思いやりがある場合もあるかもしれません。
自分の特性を知っていて、それをうまく使って、自分の居場所で、自分らしく生きる。
それが私の求める生き方です。
そして、みんなが、そういう風に生きられればいいなと思っています。
「私は刺激追求型・内向型HSP」への 65 件のコメント
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